Friends

06 January 2018

LUNCH WITH A FRIEND



It has been several months since Judy and I did a lunch thing simply because I hadn’t been too well. We don’t live near each other, so we used to take it in turns to do the travelling. Judy is remarkably able considering she is disabled and it puts me to shame when I say I don’t feel well enough to travel. It’s true though, I didn’t feel well enough the last few months.

I saw one of the neighbours the other day and was asked how I was coping on my own. I didn’t say this to her but there’s not a lot of difference to when Joe was here. I still do things like writing stuff for the blog, catching up on writing tales, paying bills, trying to re-educate the memory etc. I must be reasonably occupied because time seems to fly. Perhaps that’s an age thing; I wouldn’t know but the time since rising in the morning and going back to bed at night whizzes by.

Judy and I discussed this the other day. Neither of us minds being on our own in our respective homes, in fact we enjoy it. We both know how to keep occupied and there is always something to do to help pass the time. Both of us have cats, as well, and they keep us on our toes! As for families, both of ours live remote distances away so that family members are seldom seen. Mind you, both of us wouldn’t mind more contact with our grown-up children but we don’t dwell on it.

Judy still does work for the WI, at her home, but since my WI closed I have given up on that sort of work and don’t miss it at all. It’s nice not having the responsibility. I feel sorry for those people who can’t live alone, it must be painful for them if it’s forced on them. So I’m happy to say ‘I’m all right, Jack’ … and mean it. But then again, deep down I know there could be problems ahead – for both of us. 

25 comments:

Mac n' Janet said...

Glad you're doing ok on your own, it's a skill to be able to take care of yourself and do well.

Sharon Qualls said...

Time does seem to go by too fast. Days could be longer, or maybe I could be more efficient with using my time ...

joeh said...

I am so grateful for my wife and that companionship, but I also have my passions, golf, bowling, guitar, writing. I stink at all of them, but as long as I can play and even improve, passions give me something to look forward to everyday.

You sound as if you're doing fine, I'm not sure how I would do living alone...I would get cats or a dog for sure...Mrs.C does not like either.

Carole said...

You have a great attitude Valerie. I think that it makes a big difference in how we cope with life in general.
Keeping in touch with friends is so important! Sometimes I dread the effort, but afterwards I am happy and so glad that I did indeed make the effort to meet with friends.

Ron said...

Valerie, I'm so happy to hear that you're staying creative and active, and that your days are whizzing by. I think that's a good thing because it keeps you growing and learning; allowing the mind to stay active. I honestly feel that the older I get, the more I feel inspired to keep learning new things and staying curious.

" Neither of us minds being on our own in our respective homes, in fact we enjoy it. We both know how to keep occupied and there is always something to do to help pass the time."

That's AWESOME! And I feel the same way. I've been single and living in my own apartment for many years and I sincerely enjoy it. And I've never felt alone or lonely.

Glad you and Judy were able to get together for lunch. She sounds like such a lovely person and friend.

Have a great weekend, dear friend!
X

Geraldine said...

Yes, sounds like you've adjusted very well, after the initial shock and grief after Joe passed on. He is watching out for you I'm sure. Charlie too. Hugs to both of you!

How is your weather Val?

Valerie said...

Carol, I'm not sure about the 'doing well' bit.... but so long as I can keep myself occupied I'm satisfied.

Valerie said...

Sharon, I'm sure you do very well. Crafts are great for occupying us although I have given up on most of mine.

Valerie said...

Joeh, keep on with the sports, that's the most important thing. Although a pet can't take the place of a loved one, it sure does help to have someone/thing to talk to.

Valerie said...

Carole, you're doing okay and have done under very difficult circumstances. You never get over the hard parts of life but somehow you find a slot whereby you can store sad memories so that they're always there for you to peer into as and and when needed. You are doing well, my friend.

Valerie said...

Good morning, Ron. You have a good attitude and I do admire you for that. I would imagine many people take a leaf out of your book. I hope you are having a great weekend, my friend.

Valerie said...


Geraldine, if Joe is watching he will be thankful that I'm not overdoing things. He always warned me about that but I never listened.

northsider dave said...

Lovely post. I think its great to keep looking forward and making plans to meet up with friends.

Jean R. said...

Love your attitude and the fact that you and your disabled friend still make an effort to see each other. It makes a different to have something/someone to look forward to interacting with. Have a good 2018!

Valerie said...

Hi Jean. When visiting gets difficult we use the phone or email - there’s no excuse not to keep in touch. Happy new year to you.

Valerie said...

Hi Dave. I think it is essential that we make the most of our remaining years. Joe’s death brought that home to me. Hope you have a good year.

A Cuban In London said...

Beautiful post, balancing the pros and cons of solitude. It's great that you have this friend and that you can make plans to see each other, even if it's not as often as you would like. :-)

Greetings from London.

Valerie said...

Thanks, Cuban. Weather permitting, another lunch is planned. Have to say though that the Christmas season has made me feel idle. Hope the new year is good for you.

kden said...

It sounds like you two have a lot in common and it's good that you can get together now and then. It does get a little boring after the holidays doesn't it?

Jay said...

I dread the idea of my OH dropping dead and leaving me on my own, but that's because he's my best friend, not because I dread living alone. I've always been perfectly happy in my own company and yes, I find plenty to do!

I'm glad you and your friend are both so content with your situations. I always try to make the best of what I have, whether it's possessions or people, work, hobbies or anything else. Good to hear that you do, too!

Valerie said...

Hello Jay. My husband is still my best friend. I talk to his ashes every day. He would be the first to tell me to get out there. Not that I need much telling, but I still prefer to stay in and get on with my hobbies. The outings with my friend are well spaced out .

troutbirder said...

Indeed! Your doing it just right. The "Golden Years" have their ups and downs but mine and Mrs. T's motto remains "we just keep on truckin".

Valerie said...

TB, good on you for keeping on trucking. I remember someone telling me that things get easier as we get older. Hmm, that was ten years ago - I wonder if she is still of the same opinion.

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Kudos to you Valerie for being able to be on your own. Yes, I can imagine that missing Joe puts a damper on many things and the important thing is that you do go on and not get bogged down in depression.

Truth be known that can happen to all of us at any time, myself included. Pat and I do many things together, but also have our separate interests. Being alone is not something that frightens me as I have been alone many times. Friends are in many different areas and are not seen as often as I would like.

Your writing is wonderful, imaginative and creative. Thank you for always sharing with us fellow bloggers.

Valerie said...

Beatrice, thankfully I'm not the sort of person who goes into depression... and I am grateful for that. There is always something to do so I guess that's a remedy in itself.