Friends

09 November 2017

AN UNTITLED FUNNY


This would be funnier if it wasn't so true. Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you...

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere

04. People call at PM and ask, Did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way

07. Things you buy now won't wear out

08. You can eat supper at PM

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room

13. You sing along with elevator music

14. Your eyes won't get much worse

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather              service

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them          either

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size

19. You can't remember who sent you this list

20. AND YOU NOTICE THIS IS IN BIG PRINT FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE


Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

17 comments:

Ron said...

"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

Bwhahahahahahhahahaha! OMG Valerie, that is HILARIOUS!

GREAT post!!!! I'm sitting here sipping by morning coffee and getting some wonderful laughs before I start my day!

Thank you, my friend!

X to you and Charlie!

Valerie said...

Ron, Heehee I liked that one as well. Have a good day.

Jimmy said...

Oh Valerie, these were so funny and true at the same time, talking with a friend that I went to school with, we realized that our memories aren't that good anymore, we can go over things that happened 40 to 50 years ago, but he couldn't remember what he had called to tell me...

Valerie said...

Jimmy, I'm in the same position.... I can remember years back but not things that happened recently. I am told this is normal... I just think it's a damn nuisance lololol

joeh said...

Now I'm not as worried about being a hostage.

Mac n' Janet said...

Wonderful list, sad, but true. I've been using my right knee to forecast the weather for years.

Valerie said...

Poor you, Janet. I think my barometer is in the spine.

Carole said...

This is hilarious! It all rings true. Thanks for making me laugh.

troutbirder said...

Oh my! How true. But I'm smiling as I write that...:)

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Oh my gosh, Valerie, this was a funny post and even more so because many of us could identify with some of these listed items. Now, if I could only remember who to send these too (just kidding).

Valerie said...

You're welcome, Carole.

Denise inVA said...

This really tickled my funny bone, thanks Valerie. Yes I can relate :)

Valerie said...

You are welcome, Denise. I can relate too!!

Mr. Shife said...

Looks like I have some fun things to look forward to, Val. Thanks for sharing and it's good to know that sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix. =) Take care.

kden said...

Haha, love it!

LL Cool Joe said...

Haha, I did enjoy this!

CrystalChick said...

There were some good ones in that list ... I think I'm experiencing a few of them already. LOL
Thanks for the laugh! :)